Kids do better in life with parents who are open and honest about their faults. You either accept grace… Or you play with guilt.
Well-adjusted people come from families who had parents who were honest about their mistakes and shortcomings, parents who were even humbly apologetic. Imagine having a dad who’d be willing to say something like, “You know, you get your temper from me. It’s one of the terrible things I’ve handed you. I’m so sorry about that. Here’s how I’ve learned to handle it. Let me know if you need help. I love you so much. Would hate for you to have to feel any pain on account of me.”
If you sit down with Paul Young or John MacMurray, they have absolutely no problem admitting their faults. None. And this gives you a sense of comfort as you talk to them because you realize that it’s okay to be human. In fact, you can really connect with these guys because they’re vulnerable and honest and open. And it seems like they trust God to actually forgive them and that means maybe God has forgiven me too.
On the other hand, there are many kids who wander through the world lost. And often, secretly (until now), I’ve noticed their fathers are men who are constantly spinning the truth to make themselves look good. If anything negative happens in their families, they blame it on some other factor. They never admit their mistakes. They are constantly trying to “set an example” by hiding their true humanity. Kids who grow up in homes like this do not feel permission to be human or flawed and don’t trust that God will ever forgive them. Can you imagine living in such pain?
So much modern research supports the idea that it’s in morality, strength, courage AND VULNERABILITY that health flourishes.
– Donald Miller