“We are meant to acknowledge and repent of our sin and then return to Him. Guilt leads us to either hiding from Him in our sin or striving to make ourselves clean – both will leave us entirely empty. If you have tried to give your disobedience over to God and feel like it’s too hard, it’s probably because he’s keeping you from what you’ve found to be familiar and comfortable for so long. He’s bringing you into a new familiar that’s much more free.
But we can’t hide. We have to just tell God where we’re actually at in the process – not where we feel like we’re supposed to be. And then let Him love us exactly where we are. It’s extremely freeing.”
My mentor told me to always end with looking to God. I was telling her my struggles and sins. As she was telling me to fight the good fight and how God is good in taking away my idols, I responded like so: “Yeah, you’re right. I have to love God more. I should be thankful God is showing me this.” As I said it, I felt ashamed and guilty.
It sounded like the right answer, because I said “God” in my response. But she told me there was pride. If I always end the conversation with myself, I am, in my pride, trying to get myself out of sin and struggles. Always end with looking up at God.
God, I am a sinner, but thank you for Christ who forgives me completely. You are a good, good Father and a good, good Savior. Instead of gazing at my deficits and shortcomings, help me to Gaze Upon the Beauty of the Lord (Psalm 27:4)!