November 4, 2010 “I want to fly”

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Film Exposure Project

{let me see the world
as You see it
let Your cooling breeze
refresh my soul
and let me see the world
with a new spirit}

i want to be free.
and freedom is You

{so let heart take flight
and dwell in Thee
to be embraced in Your love
to fly and be free}

“i am free! i am free!
I soar on wings, and You lift me up”

Bosom

Oh, dreary eyes
Have lost their luster
Weary, tired
The world lays heavy on her lids

Sojourner traveling alone
Dreaming of a warmth
She had once thought she felt
Was it a dream? Or was it reality?

She swore she felt it once
She swore

And yet the world whispered
Lie after lie
“There is no warmth for you”

If there is no warmth,
Then the cold was her friend
The lack of a hand to hold her hand
The lack of a shoulder to rest her weary head on

All she wanted was the warmth of a heart
To lay her head in the beating bosom of another
Warmth on warmth
To remind her she was not alone

Oh, dear
The weariness of traveling in the cold

All I ever wanted was to be in the warmth
All I want is to be embraced by You
To feel Your warmth
To hear Your beating heart

Oh, Father
Help me lay down
The familiarity of traveling alone
The “comfort” of my independence
The “power” of my control

Father, beckon me to Your strong arms
Though Mighty as the fiercest storms
Sing to me sweetly
And woo me to Your heart

All I want is to rest in Your arms
To be held to Your heart
To be carried in Your bosom

“he will carry them in his bosom” Isaiah 40:11

Grace

grace
is God
accepting me,
calling me worthy,
taking me under his wings
and into his shelter,
with infinite love
forgiveness
and care

every moment of my life

(not when i’m ready
not when i understand
not when i feel it
not when i’m worthy of it
but every single moment
of my life
he is grace)

“It is blessed to know that the grace of God is free to us at all times,without preparation, without fitness, without money, and without price!”

C.H. Spurgeon

The Moon

the moon could not smile with me tonight
i laughed with the people
but the emptiness of my laughter
just faded into an endless abyss

abyss is my heart
oh, here i am! here i am!
i was happy to stand before you
but i was standing on quicksand
the ground was deceiving
and i began to fall
falling, falling
i fall into the abyss of my heart

tonight the sun did not shine for me
i can only count the stars
that i see in tired tears

before i could taste something good
i tasted the bitterness of my heart
and it is never ending…

you are only as lonely as ever
when you are with your very own heart
and your heart is very quite not lovely

i have heard

i have heard that there is a great King
who is hosting a grand banquet

here am i
peeking from the entrance,
my tainted feet gently touched upon the ground
and i saw that grand table
of ever-glorious goods!
and the King, O
i saw Him
most-glorious King!
yet here am i…
i am kneeling on the ground
faint knees, broken hearted,
tainted thief
oh, here am i
but even these crumbs on the floor
are enough for me

now even saints, they are calling my name
even they, they crown me with love
and honor

and oh my god… even these crumbs on the floor are enough for me

Then he said to me, “Son of man, eat this scroll I am giving you and fill your stomach with it.” So I ate it, and it tasted as sweet as honey in my mouth. E 3:3

i am a sloping, slumbering shy

you are a battle everyday
i am pressing onwards, but hold hands with
the deepest repressions
you of new are not possible
and you of old i have forgotten

you have lost your magic
where ambiance lingers in the loudest
of ruffling leaves and
showering smiles
but you have lost your magic

now the silence is loud
and i am walking

for i am a sloping, slumbering shy
i retreat to thefeet,
look up to the sky?

now, holding onto tongues
the heart cannot see
i am pushing out expression

and the sky, well it is free
please, you are free to be

Kids Again

Music: Fanfarlo- Good Morning Midnight
Listen with the music, trust me.


kids again–
let’s blow bubbles in the air
and stare at animal clouds
marching along in heavens

come swing your legs
as we sit high above
drop your ice cream scoop,
and we’ll laugh our worries goodbye

the cool of the paint leaves our fingers
as we smear a canvas and smile

we skip along the straight path
with trees and renewing leaves around
a plump peach
and a glistening apple

hidden high above
it is our joy to
have found

[stubborn, in stupor?]
let your heart be free

“It’s simple. Believe and love Him.”

– everyone said

Unless It’s With You


(Read with the music playing 🙂 )

little girl
she hopped through the field
she stooped down to look

“oh, look!”
a lily here, a daisy there
her little hands plucked away
gathering flower after flower

to her dismay, the beauty fell apart
right in her hands
the flowers withered, color faded
fragrance lingered to nonexistence

little girl, she cried
tears, they furnished a bed of grass
tired&weary, she laid on the field
her eyes opened up to the sky
she was surrounded by beauty
and in peace she fell asleep

when she awoke, the Sun was shining down
on her
she squinted her eyes toward the Sun
squinting harder, she could see there was Someone before her

“Where have you been? I have been calling your name.”
The Man’s voice was firm and concerned
“But at last we are together!”
And she saw His eyes, they glistened in compassion

Her heart leapt, and she rose to hug her Father
she gathered the flowers of the field
and with greatest care and love
–truly from the bottom of her heart
she raised her hands up to her Father
confidently holding the flowers to Him

“These are for You!”
And she fixed her gaze, awaiting His response
He was so delighted, He lifted her and spun her
Then He softly let her stand again
And He carried the flowers in His hand
With His other hand He held His daughter’s hand

{She was never so happy
as when He delighted in her}

Time passed and the flowers grew
The flowers were beautifully vibrant
Smelling of goodness and love

The girl grew as well
And she grew in her Father’s care
Their Home was on that field
The field that He had bought for her

&Sometime,
she began to see Truth
then she thought
“I am not able to enjoy this field, this beauty, this life, unless it is enjoyed with my Father.”

–Now forever giving flowers to Him

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5&6

confidently[radically], trust Him

sole and i

pidder padder, her feet treaded along the path.
her hands grasped an umbrella, but she was still in the rain.
she heard the rain. she felt the rain soak through her clothes,
her soles, her soul
ever so slowly

but she would not surrender
she did not want to be consumed
by the rain, by wetness
in totality

the winds beckoned for her to stop
to stop relying on her own ‘strength’
the storms tore her beliefs
belief that she would find safety
beneath that umbrella

wear and tear
the umbrella was full of holes
she could feel the rain more and more
the water was seeping to her sole
when at last, a great and mighty storm
the storm came with fire
with light and with power
she had no strength
and the broken umbrella flew away

to her feet she fell
in agony in fear
she raised her arms above her
she did not want the rain
seeping all throughout her

but Someone called her name
He helped her to her feet
“Surrender”
And she turned her head away
“Never… I mean I can’t
I… I don’t know how
I don’t know what that means
what it entails of”
“I will show You”

And He danced in the rain
A bright smile
A warming charm
She laughed as she saw His joy
And the water was seeping to her sole
She had no more ‘strength’ to resist in mourning
in hiding
And so He took her hand and they danced
What a dancing fool I am she thought
She raised her arms to touch the Heavens
The rain splashed upon her hands
It ran through her, all down to her sole

splish splash, she jumped along the path
she skipped with her Saviour
she heard the rain she felt the rain
her soles were seeped in full
& she loved the rain